22 Things That Men Should Be Required To Do

Thought Catalog

1. Learn what the female orgasm is, how it works, why it doesn’t have to happen every time, and how you can up your chances of making her feel generally good in bed.

2. Read up on rape culture, what it is, and how you are complicit in it while still being a good, normal, pretty much healthy person.

3. Learn to remove the strong, often false different between the “pure, maternal” women and the “dirty, undeserving-of-respect” women.

4. Work on finding a woman who can be both of those things simultaneously in your eyes.

5. Understand that blanket statements like “women aren’t funny” or “women are too emotional” ultimately only make you look like the object of pity, and not your intended target.

6. Stop calling them “chick flicks.”

7. Get over the fear of looking like “that guy” when you call out your friends for saying really fucked-up…

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This Is How We Have Sex Now

Thought Catalog

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. U?’

“I’m horny. C’mere.'”

Newsflash: no one is coming anywhere tonight except, perhaps, you on your stomach alone in bed. Straight people sext, gay men use Grindr, Growlr, and Scruff. In 2013, our phones are getting to have all the fun. They’re getting laid constantly while we lay naked in the dark, rubbing our skin, trying pathetically to get turned on by the feel of our own touch. We’re exchanging dick pics in lieu of touching actual penises. We scroll through our camera and see a buffet of anonymous naked photos we’ve collected over the last few months for us to jack off to. Somehow, this has become enough for us. This is easier than getting dressed, wearing the pair of jeans that make our ass look spectacular, and trying our luck out at the bars or on an OKCupid date. Getting off has…

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19 Life Lessons You Should’ve Learned By Now

Thought Catalog

1. You either have to accept people for who they are or not at all because changing them will be next to impossible. Seriously. Good luck with trying to mold people into what you want them to be. It’s a recipe for disaster. Just know when to cut your losses or stay. Don’t get lost in the in-between.

2.  Your definition of happiness is different from other people’s. What works for you doesn’t necessarily work for them so stop being a Judge Judy about your friends’ life decisions.

3. You have to advocate for yourself because this world is full of shitheads who will take advantage of you. No one can afford to be helpless. You have to learn how to be a (polite) pain in the ass to get what you want.

4. People love you and then they don’t. Human beings are fickle. We go to bed in…

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10 Reasons Being Intelligent Is Difficult

Thought Catalog

Calling yourself intelligent on the Internet or in real life is asking for backlash. Many people like to pretend that they want others to be confident and self-actualized. In reality, many people have such low, shaky, and/or warped self-esteem issues that the idea that someone could call themself something positive – intelligent, beautiful, etc. is taken as a personal affront. Intelligence as a social construct, is problematic. It privileges specific spaces and modes of thought and creativities over others. It privileges education levels, social-classes, and thus, even race. I get it. (I am intelligent enough to get it. Ha!) I am definitely an advocate for the broadening of how intelligence is constructed.
While I struggle with humility as a human being, calling myself intelligent is not one an act of a lack of humility in this respect. As someone really intelligent told me once, “Humility is first and foremost, a…

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13 Things Men Think About Women But Never Say

fair enough

Thought Catalog

Between magazines, romantic comedies, and generally baseless cultural assumptions, women have long been guessing what men are really thinking. His feet are slanted towards you at a 15-degree angle? Then he’s in love. 30-degree angle? He wants nothing to do with you. Then there are the totally speculative “what he really wants” sex tips like this real “tip” from a “real” guy in Cosmopolitan: “‘We need you to get a little rough and grab on to it like you’re milking a cow. You may think you’re hurting him, but I guarantee if you ask, he’d request more,’ says Steven, 23.” Why is 23-year-old Steven trying to cause us men so much pain? And aren’t we all smart enough to know that 23-year-old Steven is probably a 30-year-old female staff writer who’s just throwing down some ideas to make deadline?

We men are complex creatures, and we’ll admit that we…

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5 Things 20 Somethings Need To Do To Succeed

thoughtful indeed

Thought Catalog

Success means different things to different people. So define it as you wish. I read a book this past summer called, The Lazy Person’s Guide To Success: How To Get What You Want without Killing Yourself for It. I highly recommend it for anyone in any career or line of work. The book largely focused on success at work – as many of us do. But it does talk a lot about how a successful career means very little if you don’t have the time do the things you want to do, as far as the rest of your life is concerned. Spoiler Alert: The book actually ends with this final note, “If you can’t enjoy a leisurely breakfast at least five days a week, you ain’t no success. You’re a fake.”

Earlier this academic quarter, a professor of mine had us fill out an information sheet about ourselves…

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Give Yourself Permission

so true

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